Tragedy of the Imagination
by TwilightSuper
Summary: A dark tale of Seth Clearwater's love for Jacob Black. Written from Seth's perspective.
1. Chapter One

**Chapter One**

**_Hollow Voices_**

I'd always submerged myself into the rooms of my imagination. The sanctuary inside my head had always been a place of wonderment, curiosity and unknown freedom but most importantly it had been a possible escape from a fearful and harsher reality. The colours of my mind had the ability to liven the dimmest of lights in the darkest nights of my life. The ability to control and create; to dictate the course of the stories that played in my head, was what made the imagination, my imagination one of the most highest attractions, one of my most clung to needs. Wary times had passed within seconds when I lived in my fantasy worlds, imagining fame and fortune and something else, which at the young age of fourteen had trickled slowly into my heart. Droplets at first, which soon enough became an exhausting yet a most beautiful all-consuming ocean. Love. And the need to be loved. At such a time in my life I did not realise the tragedy of what it is to love or the undermining and callous consequences of it. Truthfully in times where love can make a summer last forever, have birds seemingly sing to you and the worries of the world all but disappear, you do not realise the true downfall of your actions.

I had never doubted my sexuality. It wasn't that I could not accept it or struggled to do so but more of that it took me a while to truly understand and realise what it was. Girls and woman for all that they could be, I never found attractive. What of it of them that caused no swelling of desire within me, I could not say. But it confused me to think that such curves of a woman were attractive and something sought for. No while other boys began to grovel and succumb to the biological call of attracting the opposite sex, I found myself pursuing the same sex. My desire had only the strength but of a flame of a candle though but grew with time and when the day that I saw _him._ He. He who had a body reminiscent of the statues of the Ancient Greeks and Romans. Whose copper skin went unblemished and smooth over his taunt muscles. Whose dark brown eyes had more power to persuade then any of his words could.

Jacob Black.

_My_ Jacob. But he will never be mine.

When I was fifteen and returned to school, the summer had managed to change a boy who had a handsome face yet lacking body into something of my sexual fantasies and quite possibly that of others. Whether it was something in the water or something in the wind, which turned Jacob Black at sixteen into one of the most sought after males at school, who would know. It didn't matter how it happened but the mere effect that it had upon a curios younger boy. A boy who had been looking but had now been locked into a gaze. A gaze that fell upon Jacob Black. My desire for him remained for what it was, an attraction. Hot sweats that turned cold in the cool of the night accompanied many of my thoughts which lingered upon the shape and design of Jacob's body. And that was the safety of such a desire. No consequence to sexual release that was without the wanting for something more, something which would elicit other fulfilling emotions. My luck though would run out. Love is funny for starting out as an attraction, a safety net before it truly takes you deep as it did to me.

The year passed me by and soon it was the night of sixteenth birthday. My house was to be filled with a gathering of many of my friends from school and family friends as well. The Black's being included. Billy Black, Jacob's father and my own had been high school friends, luckily their wives had gotten along just as well. But while often when the two family's met for occasion, I was in the presence of Jacob his attention was more accounted to my older sister, which I at those time had taken no hurt or rejection for. That was the simplicity of the situation. I was the odd one out at these occasions, with my mother with Jacob's mother, my father with Jacob's father and my sister with Jacob. Most often I would find myself bored and retreating into my imagination until the dinner or party or whatever occasion was, had finished. But not the night of my sixteenth. No, this night I anticipated Jacob's arrival into my house. Fully knowing the Black's were coming, Jacob would have to show and would have to talk to me. The nerves havocked me all day. My stomach felt queasy and I felt myself unable to eat anything, forcing myself, just to not feel further sick. And when the night started it started to ease. I became too caught up in welcoming and thanking people for their wishes and presents to realise his arrival. But when I did the world seemed to stop moving and my nerves reached their peak. In such a state I had no second thoughts to what I was doing just going with what I could.

"Happy Birthday Seth!" Billy Black had said to me, taking my loose and sweating hand in his grip with his wife Sarah by his arms and Jacob shortly behind them.

"Happy Birthday Seth dear!" Sarah had said passing me a silvery coloured wrapped present and giving me a hug.

"Uh... Thanks Billy and Sarah" I replied nonchalantly, not entirely focused upon them but rather on their son who stood behind.

They moved off in search of my parents and Jacob came before me. I stood frozen unable to stop myself from staring at him. Stupidly questioning while I was doing so then realising this may be my chance. To have him, to show I want him and make my desires, my fantasies come true.

"Hey Happy Birthday Kid-o!" Jacob said rustling my hair, not really paying attention to me but rather staring around as if he was looking for something. "Where's your sister?" he asked.

I stood there, staring at him. He finally did look at me with a smile and questioning look.

"Uh...She's...Um...by the bar" I stammered.

"Okay cool" he said and then departed.

Was it all that I had hoped for. Jacob Black, taking me in his arms, to then take me to my room and ravage me. No clearly it had not been. But for what it was, it was, simply an awakening. His husky voice stirred my desire even more and my want for him was closely beginning to turn into a grudging and berating need.

But that night had only been the true start of it. And my mind had not yet betrayed me.

That summer, at age sixteen I began to fall for Jacob Black and he was in no way to blame. Often I would find myself at the LaPush beach eyeing him as he and his friends enjoyed the cool sea under the heat of the sun. And that was the closest I got to him entirely for that summer but yet that was enough to fulfil the alarming need to see him. My imagination created the rest. He would't be over there with his friends but instead laying on the towel with me as we gazed into each others eyes and dug our wondering feet into the sand. Or we would be playing in the water, teasing and amusing each other with splashes and pushes until it became something more and we found ourselves with our limbs tangled together and our bodies rubbing together as we passionately kissed. On days of sickness and sadness it would be him that showed up at my front door. There to comfort me and hold me, while I either shed tears or acquired some soup and tissues for healing. And on the hot nights, when the sun has seemed to merge into the night, we would stroll by the beachside restaurants sharing ice-creams and laughing as we frolicked with the enjoyment of each others presence. But he never did do any of these things and now I know that. For some seconds in felt so true but that was only in my mind.

When school came by once more my excitement was overwhelming. High grades the year before allowed me to attend high levelled classes possibly the same ones attended by Jacob. The thought of sharing the same class as him left me yearning to go to school. Waking up in the morning didn't seem so bad knowing that soon enough I could be closer to him. But days come beckoning, time seems to wander and you do not realise how sunken the ship has become. Is it when it finally hits the bottom that you finally awaken. Stop looking from the eye's of your fantasies to those of the reality which comes before you. To realise how hollow your thoughts have become. How they hold no more substance, no more truth which is the matter of their existence.

I would find myself going out of my way just to be in his. Trying to sit as close to him in class to just feel him. Clinging to every word he said as if they were of the most importance. All he would say to me was a greeting, a simple "hey" but that was enough for me, that made my heart flutter and sore for the grand heights. That gave me hope. And his smile, his smile would have me yearn for him more.

At what stage does the want turn into a need...when you find your happiness controlled by it. My good days would become those when I would see him for a second or he would pass me in the corridors of the school with a smile. My bad days no matter what else occurred in the day, would be when I didn't see him at all for the day or if he gave me no greeting in class. In my obsessive state I would think he was ignoring me on purpose just to get me to notice him more or make some sort of excuse or else...Or else I would have the truth finally come to mind. That he didn't like me in such a way, that he didn't have the same want, the same attraction, the same need for me as I for him. And it was those days that I would find myself returning home to only stumble in my room with tears dripping down my face. Crying into my pillow to muffle the sobs of my beating heart as I felt an insane loneliness captivate it in a cold grip.

I could not stop though. Even when the bad days became more common, I would keep yearning and hoping that he would turn around and finally confess all of the feelings he had for me. But that never happened. And when the bad days became continuance that was when I had realised I'd fallen into a state of depression. Unrequited love, if its name could even be associated with love even though it held such pain, had stolen me in a storm. And when the storm had blown over I had been left a hollow figure with nothing to hold and nothing to be held by.

Today I returned home from school just like any other day, hoping that Jacob hadn't turned down into his street but instead was waiting by my house. Waiting to take me into his arms and to love me forever. But he wasn't and the frequent tears began again.

My family could not understand why I was in such a state. My father placing it upon my hormones and the common grouchiness of the teenage years. My mother would often ask me where my smile she once believed was the light of her life had gone. But I always replied with a grumble and few words never letting her know that it had been stolen. Stolen by Jacob Black. I never told them that I had fallen for him. I could never tell them I'd fallen for the man. They wouldn't understand and they wouldn't accept me. Small towns had secluded closed minds. I would have to be independent and far away before I could ever let them know who I was.

For now though I beckon each day hoping something would turn around. Everyone around me has turned into a hollow voice. My friends keep their distance not even them knowing what I'm going through and me not willing to share it with them. Ironically while my fantasies crumble from the weight of reality I find myself venturing further into the depths of my imagination, craving my other wordily thoughts to extinguish reminders of my banal existence.

**Thanks for reading. This is my first fanfiction and although I know it's pretty dark and depressing I'm hoping to turn it around in later chapters. This was just an introduction and setting to the story. Thanks again and happy reading! :)**


	2. Chapter Two

**Chapter Two**

**_Your Love is just Over the River_**

Delirious. I feel delirious.

"_We are here for you_!"

Where did those voices come from? Some chanting of ancient words sing to me, pushing me towards their seductive siren call. But who was I going to?

"_We are here for you_!" the same high chant of thin voices call to me once more.

My feet move mechanically towards a darkened horizon. The sun has been weakened by a sky filled with a purple and black smog. The moon shines stronger, its pearly whiteness, instigating eeriness rather then a sense of beauty or awe. Where am I going? I shake my head when sudden tears begin to form. What am I doing? Confusion has warped me into a state of fear. I feel so lost in a place where I could be so easily found. I'm lost because I have no direction to go into. No place to be, no place to be who I am. And so I feel stuck, alone and fearful of what I might do to myself. I have lost what is real and I have lost who I am. Now I am just confused on _who_ I must be.

My feet stop. The chanting has drawn me to the bank of river. A river filled with a dark water, a still water. It has no current to move it, no direction in which it is going. But the chanting comes from within the water as if the river itself is speaking.

"_Seth…"_

The voice wales to me in a breath of anguish.

"_Seth…"_

I feel my skin begin to prickle and an instinctual voice telling me to get away. To move away from that voice, from that river. I lean back away from the bank.

"_Seth…"_

The voice has became lower and darker. Theres a sudden anger and desperation ringing through the voice. It wants me to come closer, it needs me to.

"_Seth…come to me, breathe me"_

I shake my head in defiance. More tears beginning to fall. I don't understand why my emotions have become so anguished. My fear has me clinging to anything that could get me away from that voice.

"_Breathe me, come to me, just over the river…"_

"No!"

My hands immediately come to my mouth, myself shocked with my sudden unpredicted voice. My voice was somehow strong, the sound resonating throughout the entire emptiness of the place. The voice from the river stops and so does the chanting. I'm frozen. Not understanding if I have stopped what unearthly thing existed within the river or whether itself was just as shocked and now angrier and more dangerous.

"_Seth!"_ the voice bellows like a wind. Erupting from the river with a sound so heavy it fell like stone upon my ears. I fall to the ground, my hands coming to my ears as the voice continues the shout my name in a single droning note.

"_Seth! "_

* * *

My body convulses in shock. My eyes widening in disbelief. What terror that fell upon them could not be true, how could they accept it? My skin is veiled in a sweat, my hair sticking to my forehead. I release one relished sob as I sink into myself and realise that the nightmare was over. The heavy fear that I had felt throughout now gone as I realise it wasn't real. My eyes look out of my bedroom window for validation. And I sigh with a grateful sense of relief as I see a sky though dotted with grey clouds, still underneath mesmerizingly blue. I let out a soft chuckle as rain suddenly hits my window pane and smile knowing that the nightmare,the fear and confusion wasn't true.

_But it was, it is._

A little voice says inside my head. I reflect on the statement to realise that it in fact it did hold some truth. Yes I was confused by my love for Jacob Black and it had become a nightmare of some sort but the truth of the situation was that the nightmare I just witnessed brought to me another awakening. A revelation that even though the fear and loneliness may feel suffocating, at some point I had to begin healing. It was inevitable to do so.

* * *

It has been two weeks since I woke from that nightmare. Two whole weeks of sufficient healing. It is slow but it is satisfying. Feeling what pieces coming back to you. The gratification of your independence as you realise you no longer need to depend upon that person for happiness. I found myself smiling more often and talking rather then solemnly speak or smile at all. I've reconnected with my two best friends, Brady and Collin. Who although after I pushed them away in my hurricane of depression haven't abandoned me yet.

I know that these feelings that have never truly lived will never die. If never given a chance to become real the emotions that I had for Jacob Black slowly fade away but will forever linger. Resorting to remain in a small part of my heart and mind. But to never cause me any harm or pain unless awakened.

How did I dictate such a turn of events? Simply by removing Jacob Black from my everyday life. No longer would I try to catch his eyes or gaze upon with unbashful looks of want. No longer would I try be in his way or past him in the corridors of school or even pursue to be closer to him. No instead I would force myself to create as much distance between us two. Because if I didn't, even with just one look, I could slip.

I creep out of the front door of my house. It isn't extremely early in the morning but my parents were known to succumb to many hours of sleep on saturdays. I find that Leah's car is not in driveway signifying that she hadn't returned home last night and probably crashed at one of her friend's houses. Today I had planned to go meet Brady and Collin by LaPush beach. We had started the saturday from two weeks ago, going each saturday just the three of us, no matter the weather to the beach. For them it was time to socialise just with ourselves and no one else, for me it was more of a matter of healing my heart with friendship.

My feet begin the walk towards the beach. It feels good to walk. I often do so to reflect on the events of my life and to also breathe in pure silence. Allowing my mind to rest and relax. Collin, Brady and I had been best friends ever since we were toddlers. Being of the same age in years and close by on the reservation it was inevitable that we would get along. Everyone else on the reservation were either older or way younger. During my depression I had stupidly began to ignore both of them. Insecurities prevented me from opening up and so instead I closed on into myself. But they knew me to well. Realising I was going through something they both had begun to treat me fragilely. As if I would break at any second, little they knew is that I was already broken.

Honestly it was no help or use to me at all. What I needed was for them to treat my as friends do not as a doctor does. They were supposed to joke around with me and make me laugh not worry about anything the say that could offend or hurt me. It had gotten to the point where they were being too oversensitive to my feelings and we were left in strange silences.

Our time on the beach was my opportunity to show them that now I was okay and was heading towards being the person I was before or even more, that person but stronger and more secure. That was why two weeks ago I had suggested these visits to the beach. I remember how both of them had been shocked to receive a call from me.

_"Hello"_

_"It's me"_

_"….Seth?"_

_"Yeah"_

_"Wait is that Seth?"_

_"Yeah"_

Collin had been somewhat more stupefied that I was calling, while Brady had accepted it a little more. Although I can only imagine that when I suggested we hang out that their eyes widen in disbelief.

I arrive at the edge of the slope which deepens into LaPush beach. I can smell the salt of the sea and it brings a sense of rejuvenation to my mind. I looked upon the never-ending ocean. Its vastness yearning something with in me to go, to go see more. To travel the openness, the largeness of the world and discover everything it had. Nature had a beauty that was capable of making you want to live.

"Seth!"

I look down to see Collin calling me, waving his arms frantically while Brady shakes his head in embarrassment from his friends peculiar tactic in communicating.

I run down the slop not fearing if I fall enjoying how my body speeds up with the pull of gravity. I find the momentum taking me until I meet up with the other two.

"Hey" I greet the two of them.

"Hey" they reply back.

"So. Honestly. Who hasn't done Mrs Greenshaw's math homework?" Collin speaks up with a face demanding some form of the truth. Brady groans and I just smile as we begin our walk along the beach. The hours past by without none of us noticing. Our talking seems never-ending as Collin, the biggest talker out of all of use seems to be able to ramble on about any subject. At one point me and Brady run away from him to just earn a few seconds of silence. Collin would catch up questioning why we had just ran, while me and Brady would just groan in frustration and then laugh together. Collin joining in after a few second even though he had no idea what was going on.

I returned home in the afternoon with a smile on my face and little worry in my head. Mum greeted me as I entered the kitchen quickly grabbing an apple for a snack. Her face lights up when she see my smiles and a sudden warmth fills my heart. Closure. Closure on the situation and the endurance to continue and be happy and smile.

"Seth honey" My mum calls to me from the hallway.

"Yeah?" I turn to look at her, one eyebrow raised and my mouth open about to bite into my apple.

"Leah, isn't feeling too well from last night and think it's best she joins you on one of your hikes. The fresh air could do her good."

"Sure. No worries" I reply and turn back on my way to my room.

An hour later with a sense of delight I drag a groaning Leah into the woods of the LaPush forest. After much threatening from mum and some feigned shame for Leah's late night, my sister finally agreed to go for the hike, even though she proclaimed it would not help her head at all.

"How far are we going to walk?" Leah whined, we had just arrived to the edge of the forest.

I chuckle at her blatant complaining.

"Remember when we were younger, you used to love to go hiking" I say turning to face her.

"Yeah but that was before I found out how more useful my time could be used"

I sigh. There was no point, best to just continue. We made our way through the thin shrubbery before finding ourselves beneath thick forest canopies. The colours had so much more depth under the canopies. The greens and browns darker in the land where little sunlight could reach and moisture had enriched the earth. You could hear creatures large and small scuttle away or stealthily move between the trees. Birds chirped in the higher canopies, their songs drifting and stumbling upon the lands as if they were a gift from the heavens. This was why I love to go hiking, why I love to be in this untouched place.

I didn't know how long we had been walking but I realise for a while now we had been in silence. Leah hadn't been whining or complaining at all. I stop and turn to look at her. She looks up at me with a questioning look.

"What?" she asks,

"Nothing it's just you haven't said anything in a while" I reply.

"That's because, my little brother" she says coming at to me, flinging one arm over my shoulder and ruffling my hair "I might actually be enjoying your company"

"Sure, sure" I chuckle. "Keep walking"

With that Leah took the lead and we continue on. It wasn't until a short time later before we stop again. This time Leah turns to me and it was my turn to give her a questioning look.

"What?"

She takes a big breath for a minute and then sighs. Her lips quivering as if she was on the edge of saying something but was hesitant to do so.

"What happened Seth?" She finally manages to say.

"What? What do you mean?" I already knew what she meant. But I didn't want to think that it was what she meant. They had never really questioned me about but it was to eventually happen. I had become a completely different person.

"What happened to you?" She says her hands now palm out in a questioning stance. She was straining with her words. She was still hesitant to say what she wanted to truly say.

"Nothing happened to me" I reply nonchalantly and walk past her to keep going.

"Yes something did, Seth you were…"

"I was what?" I turn to her suddenly seething. I felt a sudden anger under a near close accusation even though it held some truth. But my anger came more from fear. How much did she know? How much would I tell her?

"You weren't you. You were moody and grouchy and sad but not a normal sad, something darker" She looks at me with worry in her eyes.

I turn back towards her and sigh. I can't look at her, I look to my side staring at trunk of some tree.

"And now for the past weeks you've stopped being that person and it seems like the old you is back. But what happened Seth?" She takes a step closer to me but not to accuse and question me but to instead offer comfort and support. "What changed you Seth?

That question brings a million answers to my head. I fell for someone. I fell in love. I fell in love with a man. I felt nauseating pain. I had created a fake world that crumbled within my hands. I could go on and on and on. And my heart would beat much slower with each answer as buried paint resurfaced.

I look up to and a tear slides down my face.

"Oh, Seth" she notices the tear and takes me into an embrace. I silently sob into her shoulder. Although my dad had told me I would be taller then Leah one day, that growth spurt hadn't quite arrived yet and she still had a few inches on me. Subsequently she was able to wrap her thin arms around me.

After a few minutes I settle down and we found our way to a rock, naturally designed to be seats. She holds my hand as I still can't look her in the eye. How much could I give away with my eyes? How much would I give away with my mouth? I knew there was one thing I could tell. The inevitable that would have to be told eventually. Why not get it done with one person at least my the time being. And truth be told it would allow met to explain more without having to tell her about Jacob at least. That was something I would keep for now.

"Leah you know I love you deeply. You have been the best older sister a younger brother could ever have"

We both sob a laugh in-between tears.

"I've tried my best" she says with a smile her eyes twinkling.

"You really have been but theres something that I have to tell which you might not like. Something about me. Who I really am"

"Seth I will love you no matter what. I what you to know I will always support you no matter what" She says gripping my hands tightly, clearly trying to persuade me. But I give a look of hesitance and fear.

"But how can I ever be sure?" I ask her. I backtrack on what I'm about to do. Could I tell Leah. What would be the consequences? Evidently I could handle it, I had been through a hell what was to come couldn't be worst. Or else if it was I would fight it this time and not breakdown like before.

"Seth? What is it?" Leah asks me a little fear now in her eyes as well.

I take a gulp my throat suddenly dry. I feel as if I can't speak but I could if I just get it out. My stomach is convulsing over itself in nerves. I feel as if the whole world is just about to disappear. My eyesight sways for a second before the words come out of my mouth.

"I'm gay"

She stares at me for a second her face completely blank. No emotion. I feel ecstatic, she's to shocked to comprehend. I'm about to groan in my flailing effort for truth before she suddenly takes me into another embrace, this one tighter though and with enough strength to topple me from the rock, landing us both on the ground.

"Oh Seth of course I still love you!" She cries with joy.

"Really?" I question with little breath from her tight grip.

"Of course!"" She says removing herself and helping me get up. "Was that it?"

"Yeah" I reply. It wasn't entirely but it was enough and it had resulted in a great feeling. A sense of feeling unheard of as if the burden of living such a lie had now been shared with someone else and wasn't pushing me down.

"Oh thank god!" She sighs. "I thought you murdered someone and you needed help to hide the body" she says grinning.

"Leah" I groan. She just chuckles and ruffles my hair once more. We seat down once more and spend another hour talking of how I came to know that i was gay. Starting with my non-existent interest in girls and finishing with finally knowing we I had a crush on someone that was more emotional. In that time that was the best way for me to put it. Leah told me she would support me if anyone went to against and to help me in the future when I had to tell mum and dad. With our talk done Leah turned to go back but I told her I would continue, to just enjoy a bit of silence with myself. She smiled at me and went on her way. I watched her figure disappear into the forest before turning on my heels and continuing deeper. I knew it wasn't wise to go to deep but there hadn't been any sightings of bears or wolves for years so it was safe to assume there were none. Well at least I thought it was.

The sound of a river catches into my ear and abruptly stop. My whole world stops. The river brings back a memory. A memory of a nightmare. But I settle myself knowing full well that that was all just in my head. I turn my feet in the direction of the moving water deciding it would be nice to go find it. No matter what association the river had with a certain nightmare it was still a relaxing and restful place to see and to be near. Besides this river was actually going somewhere.

It's within a few seconds that I find a rather large stream and move downhill to find it turn into a small and peaceful river. The water moves gently washing over rocks and pebbles with the lightest of touches. Swift fish can be seen making the way through the water allowing the current to carry them to where the need to go. I stooped down by the bank and place my fingertips into the water. It's freezing and I pull them out and quickly pull my jumper closer to me.

It's then with my body and head still lowered looking to the river that someone arrives at the opposite end of the river. The first then I hear are the crunch of leaves from something far more heavier then any rabbit or wild cat. It could only mean a human or a bear. Their breathing though, heavy with exhaustion comes to my ears though and it sounds more human.

"Seth?"

I know that voice. I forever will. It's _him._

"Jacob"

**There's chapter two I hope you guys enjoyed, thanks for reading and please review :)**


	3. Chapter Three

**Chapter Three**

_**Encounter with a Monster**_

No.

It can't be. It's not supposed to be like this. I wasn't ever meant to see him. Well not like this. Not this close. Not this near to him. The proximity already had my mind retracting on all that it had achieved. The strength within myself that I had thought could boast such grandeur was beginning to fade, to weaken, becoming nothing more then the water. Light and impossible to hold as it falls out of my hands and flows away with the current of the river.

But why? I can push back these emotions, hide them once more in some distant part of me and disconnect myself from them entirely. They were broken bones with nothing to be made from them, not even a proper skeleton. They should remain buried in the sand, within the earth. As a secret. A secret never spoken of.

But they wouldn't, they didn't, they don't.

I have those few seconds of thought before my head tilts upward to see one of my hearts most wanted desires. The very being for which a very good part of a year my heart beat for, breathed for. Jacob Black. He stands in all of his glory. His beauty so remarkable only nature could ever try to compete. And as soon as my eyes see his face and his own deep dark orbs, _hope _begins to fiddle with my mind and my heart.

The possibilities of a future, the fantasies I had once created begin to soar within my mind. Instantly resurfacing and concreting themselves as if they had never left and were always there and everything had just been forgiven and forgotten. Why question the past when the future could be so impossibly bright?

"Jacob" His name comes out a second time but with more expiration. As if this time it was more in awe and wonderment. Almost like a realisation of everything which could occur. Jacob could be _mine. My_ Jacob. This was an opportunity, a moment to finally forge the relationship I had been yearning for, for so long. When else would I get such good fate, to be alone with Jacob, in a forest. Just to talk, just to feel, just to realise. Hope was making me reach for the skies, reach for my highest desire. It was hope that was making me believe that this could be an untouchable truth. It was all just _hope._

I stand up but due to my abandonment of the conscious world and my fall into the somersaulting and slightly chaotic realm of my thoughts, I fail to realise something quite peculiar. Until slightly later that with another jerk of my head, my eyes draw away from my fantasies and thoughts and now to the actual physical realm. For Jacob is dressed in only a pair of shorts, naked for the rest and if my hands hidden within the confines of my pocket were any indication of the weather, then the chilly wind and dark grey clouds were otherwise. And Jacob had been entirely silent in these moments of thought as if he himself was also thinking. Could it be possible that he was thinking of me? Of us?

We stare at each other, both in silence until Jacob's pink and full lips move but nothing comes out. Well to me nothing comes out until I realise.

"Sorry what?" I ask, cursing myself for being distracted by Jacob's godly body feature.

He looks at me with slight annoyance.

"I asked what are you doing here?" he says, his voice close to a shout. His eyes stare into mine, slightly winced and cold and even with the distance of the river it still makes me suddenly look down, becoming redder by the second.

"Um…I always like to take walks in the wood" I curse my tone as soon as the words come out. It sounded childish and high as if I was making an excuse after being accused for something by an adult. I had more security than this and didn't want to be intimidated by Jacob like that. But I was because I want to please him.

"Well, you shouldn't go this far. You shouldn't be here, you have to leave now"

I look back up to him his position is still the same. His back straight, his hands by his side, his head held high, certainly a stoic statue but his face is in a frown and was there slight concern in his voice?Or was it more as if he was just telling me off? For the entire part of this conversing between us, my mind had succumb to the fluffy and oblivious clouds of desire and love but in a sudden second, what was left from my healing takes a bold step.

"Well, what are you doing here?" I say to him with a scowl on my face and a certain tone which held a distinct sense of rebellion. Rebellion against what though? I may have been or still am besotted with Jacob but he definitely wasn't my parents or anyone in that case who could tell me what to do and give me orders. He wasn't a higher authoritative figure in my life so I guess I was rebelling against the power that I had given to him. The power, that I in my lost cause of love had handed over to Jacob Black with little fuss. Now a part of me wanted to be so undeniably devoted but another part wanted to be bolder and stronger.

Jacob crosses his arms against his bare chest in response to my question and his frown deepens. His silent, his lips purse as if troubling searching for an answer and annoyed at me for giving him such a question. But it was my right to.

"Well?" I ask mockingly my palms turned out in a questioning stance and my shoulders held to my neck to give such an impression.

He slowly unfolds his arms and my shoulders droop and my posture tenses as my eyes are drawn to his muscular and defined chest. I gawp at him in a sensual gaze until suddenly in the seconds of a shifting wind Jacob runs and leaps from his position on the opposite side of the bank to land right in front of me. His hand grips my wrist tightly and he pulls it up. His strength is bewildering if slightly sexy but I'm amazed at how his hands are big enough to cover my wrist and overlap. If his chest had left me in an oblivious gaze his sudden proximity and touch had me flailing as if any second I could just fall to the ground or maybe into his arms.

I can't look up or else I would make contact with his eyes and I know then all my resolve will disappear, anything that I had built from my healing, my strength, my boldness and my security and independence would just become impeccably nothing. But I want to. I so badly want to look into those dark brown orbs. If I just tilt my head a little bit. But it's too late my head moves a little up and my eyes make contact with his and I feel myself fall entirely into his being, into his everything. _I_want to be his everything.

"It doesn't matter what I'm doing here. I told you, you have to leave this forest now and don't ever think about walking around here again!" His eyes are dark and his voice deep with authority. I feel the notes of his voice tangle their web around me, around my mind luring me into their control, into their order where I would be easily persuaded and dictated by them.

He still holds to my wrist and his face is bare in a scowl. Why do I look so lovingly at him but he just looks down at me with annoyance and anger? Clearly he didn't want to spend his time telling me off and ordering me around. With that I struggle against his hold on me, thrashing around, realising two arms are better then one and raising my left arm to push my hand against him. But he wouldn't budge. I push against the middle of his chest but all I feel is his hard muscle, must as well be made of stone. He snickers at my attempt.

"Let me go!" I yelp and thrash once more.

He loosens his grip and I fall out of it, staggering backwards from my chaotic dance of a trapped animal pursuing freedom. I feel angered at the mere fact he probably enjoyed weakening me. Something he had done, even if unknowingly, many times before. I rub my hard soothingly over the red hand mark his strength had painted on me. I look up to him, seething. If there was any emotion that could compete with love it had to be anger, it certainly had the same level of intensity. But my face softens as I look upon him. His statue pose from before is now gone, his shoulders have slumped and his looking down as his feet.

"I'm sorry about that" he says referring to the hand mark and the fact that he had hurt me. I realise that he is ashamed of himself and feel my heart flutter in a overwhelming warmth. I step closer to him as if to offer comfort. Did he care for me? Was it possible? It filled me with an elevating hope. My mind once again submerging itself into instant thoughts of opportunities. If Jacob cared then he might actually have the same feelings as I do for him.

"It's fine. It'll heal soon enough" I state rather meekly, overtaken by the change of emotion from Jacob and everything that was brewing within me.

He looks up at me and smiles thinly. It's enough to make me smile entirely before he in turn has a full smile on his face. I stifle a laugh.

"I'm sorry but when did you get super human strength and was able to leap over rivers"

How had I not taken in the complete strangeness of the situation? Was I so taken by Jacob that I was oblivious to the fact that he must be freezing and he had become more athletically keen then I had known?"No but seriously if you're cold I can give you my jumper, I have a long sleeve…"

"Na I'm fine, I'm just always warm, I don't really feel the cold" He replies, shrugging off the cold as if it was as simple as that and still smiling at me. His voice had soften and it reminded me of the Jacob that upon a rare occasion would talk to me. I shrug in reply to him and then open my mouth to say something but can't find the words.

I gape for a moment before finally. "I guess I better go then like you said" I say smiling meekly and turning around to leave but stop at the sound of his voice.

"Yeah, it's just…" he takes a step forward but then stops, looking down by his side as if lost for words.

"It's just what?" I ask my head turned over my shoulder to look at him.

He waddles his arms around as if such an action could somehow retrieve what his trying to say. Why was he struggling?

"It's just that it's dangerous out here, there are bears and wolves…"

"There hasn't been a sighting for years" I interrupt him.

"Yeah true" he looks up at me with something that I understand but not sure if I'm imagining it or not. "But you don't know for sure, just please don't go into the forest anymore" Was Jacob Black pleading? Pleading at me.

I feel that warmth again spreading through my body, soothing any of my past pains. He does care, I'm sure of it.

"Don't worry I wont" I reply assuredly but softly.

With that I turn completely and make my way back.

"And sorry again about before" he shouts from a distance away.

I turn around again too look at his smaller figure, from downhill. I stop for a second to think about what I'm going to say. My encounter with him has changed a lot within me. Resurfaced things from the past which weren't all entirely terrible. Maybe forgiveness was the key if I wanted to pursue the future. Closure with the past to move forward. Giving Jacob a chance again to form something that truly was only in my dreams. Or else I could try to hurt him, make him feel a little pain, I had an opportunity to do so. But how would I feel about it later? Would I feel reinvigorated with my strength or would I just feel full of spite for him and for myself.

"Don't apologise you're already forgiven" I call back before giving him a wave.

I see him waving back before turning around for a final time and beginning my walk home. My heart and mind have been swallowed in an undeniably needed warmth. My fingers are tingling with something that must be the magic of emotions and I'm smiling from ear to ear. My thoughts race over everything that has occurred. Playing out the events once more in my head and scrutinising everything that happened. Every word and every action from Jacob and myself and what it all meant. The way he had smiled, the way he had acted around me, what his eyes had shown and the very way he had responded to me. I wasn't sure about it before, I had given myself hope with it, but now I truly did believe something was in fact truth. It meant a lot to me, for someone who had been dreaming of such a day, imaging such a thing happening, in different circumstances of course but none the matter it had still happening.

He had shown something. Jacob Black had shown that he does in fact care for me.

_He_ cares for _me._

* * *

The air had become stagnant. I fumble around bringing my hand to my mouth and ears, covering them as to not breathe in or smell the pungent scent of decaying flesh. Where had it come from? I had stumbled upon my fare share of dead creatures. Decaying dead creatures. Usually those my forever-hunting pet cat, Shadow, brought back to the house but this, this was something worst. This wasn't some small reptile or bird or even rodent this was something far bigger, so much so in fact that it had consumed a large part of the forest in its terrible stench. I fumble forward my eyes becoming watery from the scent. When will I get out of this stench? The clouds above have darkened to the brink of twilight and the once dreamy sightings of the majestic forest canopies are now looking more terrifying then so. Their leaves no longer provide shade and an environment of life and pleasantry but now instead block most of the light which could enter the forest, cloaking it in a murky darkness, not quite complete blackness but not light enough to able to see clearly. My irregular movement inevitably cause me to catch to a large root and stumble to the forest floor my hands retracting from my nose and mouth and pushing forward to soften the fall. As soon as my skin makes contact with the floor I feel its coldness. As if it was entirely frozen, like winter had come early but hidden itself entirely, leaving only an iciness in the earth. My hands also make contact with the moss and forest moulds, the slimy and fleshy creatures of the earth's floor coating my skin in their uncomfortable texture. I swiftly wipe my hands to my pants, managing to remove as much of the moss and mould as possible. And in those seconds I fail to realise the sudden fog which has fallen upon me. I stare up to see myself surrounded by the oddest thing ever. It looks like fog but it doesn't feel like. As if the water particles were made of stone, the fog feels heavy, when it covers you it almost feels like weights upon your bones. I struggle to stand up, the fog, like gravity pushing me down but I manage to get to my knees and begin crawling to get away from the burdensome mist.

"Of all days it had to be today" I mumble to myself.

I continue to crawl until suddenly I find myself having to cover my nostrils and mouth entirely. The stench from before has worsen and I find myself once more stumbling to the ground this time in a fit of coughs as the stench has infected my lunges. What could it be? I put half of my head inside my jumper and use it to breathe through as I continue to crawl forward. Now curious to find the cause of the stench.

Before, I conclude, my mind must have been to busy trying to get away from the fog to question but now as I continued to crawl I realise with a startle and a frozen stance, the queerness of what was happening. A fog, heavy enough to push a human down? A stench that burnt the throat? The latter was conceivable but the former has me quizzically looking down at the ground, searching for a possible and reasonable conclusion. But nothing comes to mind. I shrug with indifference figuring I'll think about it later when I'm out of this predicament.

The fog begins to settle and I feel my heart soar with a sudden strength. I am close to getting out, I am close to home. But fear soon clutches me in its haunting grip. My heart beat slows and my breathing becomes heavy when I see a dark bulging figure in a patch where the fog was clearing. I couldn't make out what it is but it looked huge and unsettling. My head is telling me to go, to leave, to get away from that place as quick as possible but my eyes are already drawn, drawn to see what lay in that clearing. And they wouldn't stop pushing me forward, searching and discovering until I knew what it is. With the clearing fog I fumble to my feet and in a sense sway to the clearing, my body acting strangely and differently in this haunting and eery place.

Arriving to the patch, my mouth falls open, my arms become numb and I feel stupefied. My stomach becomes nauseous and I quickly grasp it and turn away to prevent myself from throwing up from the nightmarish sight I had discovered. Taking deep breathes and calming myself I decide the second time would not be as worst as the first. I turn around. It is.

Before me the remains of what must have been a wolf decaying in the slow and banal time of death. This wolf was no regular wolf though, not it must have been the size of the horse as although some of its flesh has decayed the skeleton still remains revealing its colossal size. I succumb to puzzlement and awe. Puzzled at how such a creature of such a size could exist and in awe of its size as well. It is as if I was looking at some extinct creature in a museum brought to life by some ancient bones. But this isn't a museum, this was in a forest close to home and this creature wasn't extinct until possibly a couple of weeks ago. I step back in fear my heart beat racing with the sudden intention to flee from this place. But my feet are frozen and once again I feel some weight pulling me down. A heavenly fatigue over takes me, something like the essence of sleep, the essence of a dream and I feel myself flailing to the ground with the slightest of cares.

"Seth…" a voice rings at to me and I raise my obliviously featured face to the sound. "Seth…"

I recognise the voice. It was a voice of a dream, so soft, so familiar so beautifully haunting. I'm drawn to it like nothing ever before and I find my limp body moving to the body of the decaying wolf. Is that where that sweet sound is coming from? Some chanting begins, a chorus of high and whimsical voices they enhance the circus that is occurring around me and in my head and I find myself swaying to the notes.

"Seth…" the voice calls from the mouth of the wolf. It's head remarkably had been untouched by decay and it had died with its teeth bare in a snarl but now it was almost as if it was smiling to me as it talked. "Seth" It says my name so sweetly so dreamily. "Come closer, Seth" Familiarity causes me to close to the wolf step by step. Why does it feel so familiar? I felt the power of nostalgia so overwhelming that I had to commit these actions just to feel closer to that memory I had cherished and never forgotten.

"Seth…give me your hands" the wolf says,

I raise my arms and put my hands on the side of the wolves head just below the ears. The fur was night black but so very soft. So cozy feeling and warm another reminder of familiarity and simply home. "Seth wont you play with me? I've been so alone until you found me"

"Sure I'll play with you" I reply without any thought.

"Really?" the wolf asks as if unsure but truthful knowing the answer.

"Of course" I reply once again without any thought to the consequence of my words.

"Your the best Seth! Open your mouth Seth! Open wide!"

I follow the orders of the thought with no questioning, with no openness to debate just going through with it. Although somewhere in my mind I did hear a voice screaming at me to run, to flee and to not to what it wants. But that was only a voice amongst a chorus of other voices.

"Good work Seth! Great!" the last word comes out in a sudden hollow drone of a voice. It was cold, dark and low but it was already too late. I couldn't close my mouth it was being kept open by some invisible force. My eyes widen in alarm as the mouth of the wolf opens unnaturally wide and a purple smog begins to slowly crawl out of it. The more fog comes out the more I begin to scream but its only silent. The fog becomes dense and soon enough I realise its not a fog but some sort of being, or creature I have no idea what it was but it was starting to shape. I see the arms before the face but then my eyes land upon it. The devil lived in the wolf. It looks like the demons of paintings hanged on the walls of gothic and ancient churches. Its horns are curved like those of mountain goats and its mouth had a multitude of teeth. Its skin is purple but blemished with bumps and its eyes are as dark as night but as deathly as the worst of nightmares. I feel any life begin to drain from me as I'm locked in the demons eyes and the state of dreaminess I was in before disappears in a flash and recognition and realisation falls upon me. That voice is the one in the nightmare, the one coming from the river, the one I had subsequently somehow been warned of. But it is too late.

The demons hands clench my jaw and prevail to widen it further. The hands are cold, so cold I feel as if they are gonna give me frostbite but the pain of being unnaturally changed is worst and I blacken out from it. Falling into the abyss of the unknown as I scream silence.

**Thanks for the reviews, I hope you enjoy this chapter. Happy reading :)**


	4. Chapter Four

**Chapter Four**

_**Resurrection in the Night**_

_"Seth!"_

The scream ran through the house of my very mind. Beating down the walls and shooting open the doors. The windows drawing back with restraint, holding on with their glass fingertips to the frames of the house.

_"Seth!"_

The scream once more bellowed through my mind with its high piercing wail and its drowning and overwhelming tone. I was stuck in its constant ring, to forever be caught its high reach for the stars of notes, before starting again at its low point. If it had legs the scream would be running hills, down then up again, down then up again.

"_Seth…"_

The voice had become softer, almost hollower but I recognised it at once. I turned my head to catch sight of Leah with her back turned to me but she had been the one to have spoken my name with such familiarity.

"_Leah!"_ I said, my voice slightly lost in a chocke

I stumbled to my feet and caught flight to get to her but time seemed to have no boundaries in this world I had began to exist within. I slowly moved though I thought to be running and then within a second which wasn't exactly a second time seemed to catch up and then overflow. My feet flew towards her and I tripped, crumbling to her feet.

"_Leah?"_ I said meekly. My hand raising up, shaking with a cautious fear.

I tug at the loose cloth of her pants like a toddler asking for attention and at once she begins to move but once more within the lost time of this world. I watched as her body turned to face me, everything of her was the Leah I knew until I saw her face. More specifically her eyes. No longer were they the brown, slightly hazel eyes I had known, the ones my father also carried no now they were black. As black as death. And as I looked closer and time began to move faster I realised her skin was not the same. No Leah's skin had become purple and blemished with little bumps and two stumps had begun to form on her head. They were raising her hair in an odd formation.

And I cried a horrible wail.

"_Seth…" _The voice was as low and dark as the depths of the ocean. My body began to shake as the monster I encountered came before me forming itself through the body of Leah. As the stumps continued to grow they turned into large curved horns and with a grin the Demon revealed its collection of tragic teeth. And with a gasp of a fear I flew myself back, stumbling onto my hands tears running down my face.

"_Seth! What have you done?" _The Demon spoke but with the voice of Leah although its tone still was heard behind it. _"What have you done, Seth?" _The Demon spoke pleading for an answer in desperation. Clearly needing to understand what I had done. What had I done?

"_I don't know…" _I manage to say, shaking my head with worry and fear.

"_What have you done?" _The Demon wheezes with one last plea and then turns its hands forming spreading out to reveal what I had done. I follow its body movement and hands to see what it is showing to see another horror.

The town I had lived in my whole life, the reservation, LaPush, being destroyed by utter chaos. The entire reservation was engulfed in flames. As if I was seeing outside a glass window I watched as people screamed and shout running in disorder as flames erupted all around them. Some I recognised but none I knew by name until, as if knowing, the window scene changed and there I saw my family huddled within each other, grasping for comfort as flames surrounded them in a savage barrier of no escape. I watched as my mother bled tears and my sister held her, my father holding both of them as they sob, he the outer shell. But strangely his not crying or sobbing or flailing in disorder no he only held a face of dismay. And then I realised within his eyes I saw disappointment and shame. For what though?

"_Seth!" _My mum wails.

My father holds her closer and my sister erupts into louder sobs while my mother seems to turn into a catatonic state, due to the saying of name. But what power could have been bestowed upon my name to cause such a reaction?

"_Seth..." _My father now spoke my name, but instead of saying it in a sob, he only shakes his head, as if… as if his ashamed. His eyes are dark and they are cold. My name seems like poison to his mouth.

"_What have you done? Seth…"_

* * *

_"_No!" My voice bellows the sound of pain. I shoot up, my hands clenching to a soft cushiony firmness and my eyes widening but only witnessing a glare.

I hear once more the piercing scream, but it soon becomes a hollow sound an echo almost as I slowly come to consciousness. As my eyes adjust to the light I find myself staring into the brown doe eyes of Bella Swan. In a mass amount of confusion I fall back to the couch I was lying on with a wheezy sigh.

"Seth?" Bella questions, she looks at me questioningly with worry but relief. "Thank god you've awaken" she says, holding her hands tight.

"What happened?" I ask. I find my voice dry, what started out as my full voice quickly deteriorating into a whisper at the end of the sentence.

"Jacob found you in the woods, Seth. Unconscious. We didn't know what to do so we brought you to his house" She says. I suddenly recognise the very living room of the Black's, which I had been in before. "I'll go get you some water" Bella says, she makes haste to the kitchen and I find myself sinking further into the couch. It's softness enveloping me into a warmth. A delirious warmth, which made me arguably sleepy. But a sudden opening of a door has me waking up.

"Seth!" Jacob says entering from the hallway. "You woke up"

I look at him and my heart jumps. Still now he captivates me and I can feel another warmth, something a couch could never give me, course through my veins, through my body.

"He woke up just a few minutes ago" Bella says, she hands me the glass of water and I take it gratefully, sitting up to slowly sip at it.

"Yeah I heard" Jacob replies to her. She goes to stand by him and slowly stands on her feet to give him a quick peck on the lips. He returns it as gracefully, like a couple would.

Like a _couple_.

What warmth from before swiftly turns to cold and l lower myself further into the couch. Should I have known? Did I not realise the way he looked at her when she entered the room? He had honestly never looked at me in a such a way. I feel my hope crumbling and with it my state of mind. I turn my face to the side hoping to hide my pain, hoping not to breakdown. But truthfully where had hope ever gotten me? I feel like a fool. I feel stupid for believing that it could be possible, hoping that it would happen. And based on what, on the mere fact that he had talked to me, that we had managed to have a normal conversation. There was no worth in that, that was just the dirt of the earth but I had been reaching for the heavens and it would only be right and truthful that I returned down to the ground where I belong, once again.

"Do you remember anything Seth?" Jacob asks me catching me from my thoughts. I can't stand to look at him at this moment but I do face him my eyes falling upon the door handle from across the room from me.

"No. All I remember is one moment walking back at home and then the next waking up here, it's like all of whatever happened has just disappeared from my mind" I speak with a monotone, my mind focusing on the door handle, not on the pain, not on the hurt, not on the truth.

"Are you sure Seth? Nothing at all?"

"No nothing" I reply.

"I want you to think really hard…"

"Jacob stop it. He just woke up, give him a chance to regain his bearings" Bella exclaims, stopping Jacob from continuing from what had started to turn into an interrogation.

Jacob huffs in reply and then walks off into the kitchen.

I turn to Bella and give her a weak smile.

"Thanks" I whisper. She nods her head and turns to go to Jacob.

I sigh. I should hate her but honestly none of this was her fault. None of this was Jacob's fault as well. When it comes down to it, I'm the one to blame for I'm the one who fantasized and created a false truth. I guess I'll just have to live with that fact. I place the glass of water on the floor and then lie once more on the couch resting my body into the cushions and closing my eyes slightly. I felt so exhausted. Although my heart was aching, I just felt so tired to really care. My head felt foggy and I couldn't honestly know what I was thinking or how I was feeling. Everything just felt lethargic.

"Seth!"

Oh, when will they let me sleep. I move my body to face the person who has come before me. Brady walks in his face distort in worry and his entire body naked except for a pair of shorts. I was too tired to question such an outfit and so just bemused myself slightly with his odd appearance.

"Brady what are you doing here?" I ask.

"I heard about what happened. Of course I'm here"

My face scrunched up in confusion.

"Wait does my family know?"

"Nah, everyone's asleep, it's the middle of the night Seth"

I take nothing from it and return to my comfort in a daze of sleep. Brady comes to sit beside me. I can feel his stare upon my face. He obviously had many questions but I neither had the answers to help him or the strength to converse.

"Brady!"

I feel the couch spring back up again as Brady's weight suddenly shoots off it. He stands awkwardly by me as Jacob walks in the room with annoyed expression.

"What are you doing here?"

"I heard about Seth. I had to come straight away" Brady replied meekly, obviously intimidated by Jacob.

"Did you think for a second that you could just leave your…is Paul still out there?"

"Yeah he is" Brady replies swiftly "Don't worry I…" He stops and I open my eyes to see him looking down at me strangely. "I covered…most of the…area" He says, oddly and disjointed as if he had to think hard about what he was going to say.

What were they talking about? Why was Jacobs acting as if he could order Brady and why was Brady going along with it? Was it my exhaustion or did that conversation just occur? What had Brady left and why was it alright that he had covered most of it? This wasn't some sport I had ever heard or game. But that just made things more muddled. With a sigh, I slowly moved myself off the couch and leaned onto its ledge for support.

"What is going on here?" I ask, my face clearly in a daze like a drunkard with my eyes both slightly closed.

Both Brady and Jacob stand frozen. Their mouths are open as if they were shocked and Brady stares at me with trepidation.

"Um…" He says, his hands clamping together in an awkward way. "Well…"

"Brady leave" Jacob states coldly.

He turns to Jacob for second to affirm what he had stated and then as if he had been assured he begins to take off to exit the house.

"Wait. No!" I lunge for Brady and grab hold of his arm. His body remains frozen though as I try to stop him from walking away but it was as if it was not possible to turn back in my direction. As if his body was stopping him from doing so.

"Brady since when did you take orders from Jacob?" I ask.

He turns his head to look at me his back still in front of him but his lips are closed tight, his eyes are wide in worry and he just nods his head as if to say there was no way he could answer.

"Seth let Brady go. He doesn't need to be here" Jacob states. His cool baritone dancing their way inside my head, grasping me with each note, nearly taking control of me before I snap out of it and realise the truth.

"If he does then I'm going as well" I say. I hurriedly put my shoes on that had been left beside the couch and then turn to Jacob. "Thanks for finding me and letting me rest here but I think it's about time I go home" I say, grabbing Brady's arm and manoeuvring him out of the Black's house with ease. We reach the edge of the property just where the property starts and I turn to him with a face of confusion but anger.

"What the hell was that?"

Brady looks at me slightly stunned, he clamps his hands together and then just looks down at his feet.

"Well? When did you start taking orders from Jacob Black" I spoke his name with such bitterness.

Brady looks up and stares at me once more, biting his bottom lip, he sighs and shrugs.

"His really not the bad and aren't you family friends with him"

"That has nothing to do with the fact that you took orders from him like a puppy" I retort.

He shrugs once more and continues to bite his lip. I knew I wouldn't get anything out of him, no explanation what so ever.

"Well…It's complicated" Brady says "Look I better get home but I'll explain it to one day, eventually" He says, I give him one last stern glare before he walks off in the opposite direction of where I have to go.

"You shouldn't be angry with Brady"

I turn around caught by the voice of Jacob. His once more only wearing a pair of shorts.

"What do you want?" I spat coldly.

He stares at me for a second than grins.

"What's so funny?" I say once more with slight anger but I can feel it waning as he continues to look at me. Why couldn't it have been us together? Why do I feel like I fall for you every time I see you, Jacob Black? I turn my face to the side, glaring off into the distance and fold my arms over my chest.

"Let me take you home. We don't want you collapsing on us again" Jacob says becoming serious again although a hint a sense of cheekiness. But whatever he was getting at it leaped seas over my head.

"No. I'll be fine" I state and turn to go.

"Seth, don't be stupid" Jacob replies he grasp to take a hold of my arm. But I had this happen to me once and it sure as hell wasn't going to happen again. I quickly fought of his hand and stride quickly away taking jumping steps.

"Get away from me! I'm fine!" My voice thins to a slight screech, it was close to the edge, close to the edge of breaking into a sob. Now I didn't have my tiredness to veil the pain, now I was completely feeling it. I continue walking for a bit before I realise Jacob didn't follow me and then I do sob. Had I really though he would? Was I slightly surprise to find that he didn't? It was stupid to be so, it was stupid to think that he would actually come after to me, he didn't love me in that way, he didn't feel for me in that way. I feel the tears cascade down my face and I pursue to cover them with my hands but I feel it's a useless battle as my whole face becomes a watery mess.

I don't what path I followed but somehow I've found myself in the forest again. I look around not recognising any familiar territories or any signs of a road or path.

"Fuck!" I hiss and fall down to my knees, cradling myself within my arms. It wasn't suppose to be like this. I was supposed to get over him. Or maybe I was just supposed to never fall for him but I did and I have and now I had no idea of how to get rid of what once had enliven me but was no starting to decay my very soul and mind.

A haunting sound of a sweet melody catches my ears like silk feels to skin.

High notes sounding like birds surge something within me, warming me from head to toe in a sense of power and capabilities. I feel my tears drying and begin to laugh hysterically. The worries and pain I had before seem to disappear with the sweet singing and I stand on my feet and gracefully turn around look for the creator or creators of such a moving sound. I can't see anyone or anything but as the sound begins to grow, the singing quickly progressing into a choir I feel my hidden heat up. I look down to them with worry they feel as if they're burning, as if they have caught on fire. I wave them around, hoping it would stop it, hoping possibly maybe the air would cool it off but my hands continue to burn and turn bright red.

"What the…" My words are lost though as all at once the heat from my hands disappear, the singing stops and a bright light, as a bright a light as I ever seen, enveloped me and everything that I could see. For a second I feel as if some surge of electricity is rushing out through my heads but before I can contemplate, the light disappears within its speed and I find myself crouching on the ground, my hands dug into the cool earth.

Where had that light come from?

**There's the fourth chapter, sorry it took me longer, hope you enjoyed it and please review:)**


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